15 Oct How True Transformation Changes You
People wish their lives were different on a daily basis in all kinds of different ways… maybe it’s to be happier, or thinner, or wealthier, or to have better friends or more love in life. But to invoke true transformation becomes much more than any one thing in your life because true transformation changes you.
Just as you cannot make six figures if you have a $20,000 / year mindset, you cannot change one thing in your life without it changing everything else. In order to actually ‘have’ it, you must change yourself to accommodate the expansion of whatever needs to come into your life in response to your conscious desire.
Transformation will require that you surrender parts of your life, including the ones you thought you wanted to keep. It requires you to open to the unknown, to new possibilities and embrace what you cannot yet relate to as a part of your life. It requires you to be more of yourself by releasing that which holds you back on any level. And true transformation requires that you follow-through on taking the right actions – the ones that match your values and beliefs – in order for you to live your life as you have intended (i.e., ‘better’ in some way).
When teaching my clients, I often teach the concept of fractal distortion. That is, anything that shows up in one area of your life is echoing through other areas of your life. You may not recognize it but trust that it IS happening.
For example, if someone has scarcity consciousness in their finances, they may also deprive themselves of food, not have enough friends, drive a small economical car, avoid splurging on things that would make them feel good or that they really want. Fractal distortion is one of the keys to understanding the patterns and rhythms of your life. And, if you look with honesty and clarity, it will show you the cause of many of your life circumstances, relationships and situations.
Fractal distortion is a key part of the process of transformation because you cannot change one area of your life without affecting the whole of your life. As a consequence of your entire life changing, you are challenged to either accept or resist (or even deny) the changes that have been set in motion. And it is in this moment – the squeeze of transformation – that you can see who you really are at your core.
The three areas that most people want to transform are health, wealth and love. Because of the perceived significance of any one of these, the transformational process holds an extra ‘charge’ in that you will feel more challenged in doing something different. In that moment, you are at a pivot point. You must commit to things staying the same or to go forward to your better life through transformation. When people are in this moment, they get ‘squeezed’ between the old and the new – and that’s when they will reveal their default belief system.
In the pivotal moments of any transformational process, you will inevitably experience stress. The way that you handle that stress brings your truths to the surface and can cause you to question the transformation you thought you wanted.
1. Are you willing to let go of loved ones to be your best?
2. When frustrated, do you take it out on the people around you?
3. Are you not the person you thought you were?
4. How have other people influenced your decisions up until now? And can you forgive them – and yourself – for the outcomes of those decisions?
5. Can you tolerate the potential ambiguity of change… the ‘in the middle’ place?
6. Are you able to embrace the difficult moments – needed but awkward conversations, lost jobs, a new place to live, etc. – that you will encounter as your life changes?
7. How open are you to truly standing in your power, being fully accountable for your life results?
You cannot ask for transformation without becoming a different version of yourself. You get to decide what that looks like by the way you respond to the changes that must occur. As you do, your transformational process can gain momentum, slow down or even change direction unexpectedly. Your level of conscious awareness is the differentiator between the smoothest possible transformation and transformation that feels like it’s happening to you.
When you are conscious, you can see the moving parts or, at the very least, the options for your next step. You can have faith in what you cannot see throughout the process. You understand that there is a higher purpose at work and that waiting is not a passive activity. It is possible to employ compassionate detachment for the fall-out of transformational shifts. Your focus is on the best and highest good for yourself and your life, trusting that others affected will be able to handle the changes (or not). You recognize your responsibility for the state of your life, your relationships and absolutely everything in your life – and that gives you the power to show up fully for yourself.
The bottom line is that you cannot request transformation and remain unchanged by it. Your life will change and you will be changed by it. True transformation can be rigorous, messy and, in the end, rewarding. Nothing remains the same in the face of true transformation – including you.
